Set the Setting: June 2024

Meme Drop, My EDC Journey & Integration, Catch me IRL at Electric Forest, Can I skip Pride weekend?, Photo Drop, Dedication to Grandpa Sian T. Tjia

Meme Drop

I recently curated a conference presentation called “Rave as Ritual” with a Harm Reduction Expert (Armando from Zendo Project), a DJ (Syd Gris of Opulent Temple) and a Neuroscientist (Mackenzie from Gül Dolen’s Lab at UC Berkeley). The idea behind the panel was that a rave can be as powerful as any psychedelic-assisted therapy if you… Set the Setting!

So that’s how I approached my 11th EDC Vegas:

• Preparation: I arrived with tested drugs and set an intention to be present.

• The DJs would be my psychedelic facilitators: their melodies and drops would guide my journey each night.

• Based on the type of drugs I would be taking and the duration I would be high, my critical learning period (the period of increased neuroplasticity to form new neural pathways and healthy habits) would last about 2 weeks; my integration period.

The excitement among my squad, aka the “Rave Guards,” had reached a fever pitch. Months of coordinating outfits, logistics and which DJs to see… at last, IT’S RAVE DAY!

Then, a few hours before we board the shuttle… a text lands in the family chat: Grandpa has passed. Peacefully. At 109 years old. His rest is well deserved.

My EDC Journey & Integration

Friday

I can’t focus. FUCK! I haven’t told the Rave Guards about Grandpa; and I already decided I won’t tell them until EDC is over. While I know there will be moments that I might want support, I want to respect the mindset of everybody else and a death in my family is not something I want to burden people with. I’m going to process this on the dance floor, like I do with most other challenges in my life. I got this.

But even still, I’m nervous about taking my ecstasy. Am I in the right mental state? I’m always a little anxious on Day 1 because I want to make sure the newbies learn their way around, find our meeting spots, etc. At the moment, I’m mostly thinking about Mom. She had left Grandpa earlier that day and was on a plane while Grandpa passed. What would she be like when she landed? How was she going to learn the news? In this moment, I just want to be with my family.

I go to the Subtronics set — wrong move. I can’t lose myself in the dubsteb because I’m not present. I’m having fun… but I’m not present. And now I’m getting annoyed at myself for not “doing it right.” My intention of “presence” feels like it’s slipping away.

Sian T. Tjia (12/14/1914 - 5/17/2024). Pictured in Jakarta, sometime in the 1950’s, about the age I am today

Grandpa went through some shit! Japan bombed Indonesia for oil reserves in 1942; the Japanese occupation killed about 4 million Indonesians. Grandpa was jailed as a prisoner of war (because was a journalist). Though the house was bombed, the Tjia Family survived and escaped to Hong Kong to form a new life, learn new languages, and assimilate into a new culture. Grandpa was a spy for the CIA for 8 years during this time, spying on China for the US — in return, he was able to send 5 of his kids to college in America. He lived his fucking life! He encountered serious trauma, and he persevered.

It dawns on me in that moment… that Grandpa would want me to take the drugs.

I envision him looking down at me from the heavens to see me holding this ecstasy in between my fingers — and he’s reaching out with his hand… “Steven…. take. the. drugs!!! GET FUCKED!!! John Summit is about to start!!” (“Ok Grandpa!! But this pressed pill is a triple stack so I’m gonna start with half!! Love you!!”).

The set was perfect. By the end of the set, I’d been able to process the grief of the loss, send loving energy to my family, and celebrate my Grandpa’s hell-of-a-run at life. John Summit closes his set with the GRiZ remix of “Where You Are” and finally… I achieve a state of pure presence.

Saturday

Saturday is acid night for me at EDC. It was, dare I say, life changing?

There’s an inside joke among anybody whose gone to EDC about how the fireworks show ruins July 4th. The fireworks show at EDC is… I mean, you just have to see it. It makes any July 4th celebration pathetic in comparison. Not only that: there are lasers and flamethrowers coming from the stage, there’s a fucking drone show going on, there are acrobats jumping off a platform into trampolines, you’re surrounded by your best friends, and Dom Dolla is at the peak of his ascension to tech house royalty. Feast your eyes on ears of the best 3 minutes of the set, when the music and fireworks were popping off:

The cameras also do a great job of capturing the crowd; it really brings me back to the moment that I was dancing in that sweaty crowd. When I watch this, I can feel the 80 degree heat at 2am. I can feel that breeze that I can only describe as buttery. I can feel the love and acceptance that comes from my friends and the other 40,000 people getting their minds blown by the Circuit Grounds stage.

Unlike the main stage, which has a lot of scenic elements to its stage design, Circuit Grounds is about over-the-top production. It has a technologically advanced aesthetic with an aggressive electronic feel; large-format lighting and video that is very in-your-face. As the name reflects, Circuit Grounds is designed to be edgy, like sticking your finger in an electrical socket.

The final set of the night is the Sub Focus b2b Dimension b2b Culture Shock b2b 1991, otherwise known as the Worship set. I saw Worship when they last went on tour and wrote about in a blog section titled “Sub Focus or Sex Party?” Hint: I chose Sub Focus — and it was orgasmic!

At the beginning of the set, I started thinking about the past 12 years of my life. I had just discovered MDMA in 2012/2013, EDC was my first festival (the Bass Pod stage was essentially a patch of dirt), and I was still working at Facebook in data analytics. And how… each EDC I get closer and closer to infusing more PLUR into my life.

But before I get too many heady thoughts, I completely lose myself in majestic Drum and Bass (DnB) vibes with fast beatbreaks, heavy bass and sub-bass lines, samples, synthesizers and, obviously, drums.

The set was making me feel bigger than I am.

It was giving me a feeling that I can take on any challenge.

And this track… on acid… helps me understand that I’m ready for love:

I know that I belong right here

‘Cause I got love to give

I wanna give you all of it

Cause it’s so, so clear

I know that I belong right here

Every time I took a chance, every challenge that I worked through, every friendship, every… every… gah! Every everything that was meant to happen in my life has happened for me to be right here! Does that… even make sense?!

I don’t always have the words to express what I’m feeling deep inside me, but these lyrics unearth this inherent truth inside me: that I have love to give. That I have so much love to give. I have so much life to live. It’s so, so clear. I know that I belong right here.

Sunday

Sunday is “do all the drugs and see if anything happens” night. For me… not much happens on Sunday. I take the same amount of acid as I do on Saturday and the same amount of ecstasy I take on Friday and wait an hour. I feel lovely, but the power of the LSD/ecstasy feels about 25% as strong as last night and the night before. I smoke some weed and do a few bumps of k, feel a little something, but not much. Try a few bumps of coke; nothing noticeable. Don’t worry -- at this point, I stop taking drugs. I’ve learned over the years that when your brain doesn’t respond to a cocktail of FIVE drugs, it’s time to throw in the towel.

On Sunday I’m happy to explore the grounds, carry the totem, refill people’s waters, get a little chatty with my friends, and swing by Quantum Valley for a set (I got to see Pryda for the first time and catch up with Craig!).

Per tradition, the Rave Guards end EDC at main stage. This year, it’s a b2b of Chicago House legends: Green Velvet and John Summit (who is half the age of Green Velvet). The final track of EDC 2024 is a banger, the new John Summit and Sub Focus track:

It starts like a John Summit song and then layers in the Sub Focus vibes. The tempo increase is so natural, the looping vocals slightly changing to accommodate the tempo increase is just so perfect. And then… there’s a big DnB drop that is quintessential Sub Focus, brilliantly executed. It’s as if John Summit invented DnB but in 2024. Its been dubbed the song of the festival because the lyrics are a perfect rave mantra: I wanna go back, I wanna go back, I wanna go back…

During that final track, the crowd is going nuts! You’re in a crowd of people just cherishing the last drop of EDC magic; hugging, embracing, kissing. You’re realizing that it’s 6am, again — that you’ve been raving for 3 nights straight. You’re exhausted and also thinking “Can we have one more day?!”

The sun is up so we take our annual Rave Guard family photo:

The 2024 Rave Guard family photo. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Integration

Integration has been smooth. I had pre-arranged an integration call with my life coach, Yannick, a few days after getting back home. I want to write about it but so much of what I want to share is in the context of my “parts” (from the Internal Family System therapy modality). If you aren’t familiar with the framework, what I’m about to share is not going to make any sense so…. just skip this next paragraph.

In trying to get to know my Core Self, I’ve been asking my parts to step aside, create space, and give more control to my Core Self. I was having mild success, but I was essentially trying to silence my parts (and they were pushing back). Instead, I’ve been having my parts talk to each other, and I’m even having 1:1 and group conversations with my parts as my Core Self. Three of my main parts are around 7, 13, and 16 years old. When I asked them how old they each I thought that I (Core Self) was, they all thought I was about 18-24 years old (essentially, each of them they think I am as old as I was around the time that they were forced out). This correlates to around the time I was experimenting with psychedelics for the first time. Psychedelics helped me address their burdens.

Yannick recommend the audiobook of Greater Than The Sum of our Parts and its been the highlight of my integration.

So, now that I have effectively used EDC for healing and personal growth…….. can I write it off on my taxes as a business expense? Please? These festivals are not cheap.

dubstepfbi

A post shared by @dubstepfbi

In the two weeks since EDC, I have had multiple moments where I find myself overwhelmed with joy. I don’t fight the tears - I welcome them. I let the emotions run through me. Sometimes I have a silly thought, like if I get reincarnated… I want to be a firework.

Ohhh EDC. You got me good this year.

Catch me IRL at Electric Forest (June 20-23)

Truthfully, it’s always been on my Festival “maybe” list because a) it’s all the way in Michigan and b) I’m usually deterred by the thought of camping. Camping is fun, in theory, but like… where are the amenities?! I’ve mustered the courage to do Burning Man and Dirtybird Campout before, but my break through came from Envision: you can get a dope airbnb right outside the festival grounds, DUH!

I’m super grateful for Ryan and Dallas who are taking care a lot of the planning logistics so I can wobble along to wooky bass vibes with my rave fam. I’m especially excited to party with the Michigan crew that I met in Tulum last year! There are also some fun DJ collabs that I’ve never seen before but heard really good things: Dom Dolla & John Summit, Gigantic NGHTMRE, Odd Mob & Om Nom (Hyperbeam), and LSZEE (Clozee & LSDream).

Is anybody else going to Electric Forest this year? Send me a DM if you are!

Can I skip Pride Weekend?

I’ll be in Houston for Grandpa’s memorial service the 13-17th, then Electric Forest from the 19th-24th… so I was thinking — “can I skip Pride Weekend?” I don’t even like circuit parties.

But this pride weekend, Above and Beyond are playing at the Midway and Neel and Shahin are opening! If you’ve ever been to a Lingerave (e.g. the Lingerie Raves I used to throw) then you’ve heard Neel play because he’s played at every one! Shahin played at the 5th annual Lingerave. Since those days, they have joined forces as Elevven and really crafted their distinct Future Bass sound:

So no, this Pride Weekend absolutely cannot be skipped. I’ll be there every step of the way cheering for Elevven! This year, my pride mantra is “Dicks out for Elevven!”

Photo Drop

1) Conference presentation - easy. Trying to sit like a lady on a stool - HARD. 2) Bauer loves it when I put the top down. 3) Mia and Bauer in heart formation. 4) So stuffed from our Italian Food Potluck that I had to take my clothes off.

Dedication to Grandpa Sian T. Tjia

My grandpa was a journalist - who worked till he was 87 years old! That was key to how he lived a vibrant, dynamic, and adventurous life. He found his meaningful, purposeful ikigai through writing and telling stories.

I dedicate this blog of mine, Set the Setting, to the legacy of my Grandpa. Thank you Grandpa, for inspiring me to be the writer, the grandson, and the human I am today. I love you.