Set the Setting: March 2024

Meme Drop, Set the Setting Playlist: 37 Remixes, My Psychedelic Trip Report, Catch me IRL in Vegas, D.C. & Denver, Photo Drop

Mar 02, 2024

If you laughed at this, you are part of a niche intersection of “have attended a psychedelic ceremony” and “spaceballs” 😇 IYKYK!

For last month’s psilocybin ceremony, I brought a lapis bracelet (that Alex gave me at Gem & Jam), a tiger’s eye bracelet (that Johnny gave me at Psychedelic Science 2023), a quartz rod (that Kaitlin gave me for my ayahuasca ceremony), an amethyst point (that Shelly gave me at Balprit’s baby shower), and a necklace of black diamonds (that “young and reckless Steven” bought when Facebook IPO’d). All of these objects were reflected in my psychedelic portal!

Set the Setting Playlist: 37 Remixes

In commemoration of my 37th birthday, I present to you my 37 Remixes playlist! These 37 tracks are EDM remixes of whatever song was popular that year. It starts in 1987 (also the year Spaceballs came out) and works its way up to today. It’s a whole journey! In case you couldn’t tell by now, I LOVE building playlists and this one is guaranteed to deliver a dose of nostalgia.

This edition Set the Setting also marks 1 year of publishing this blog! I know it’s a little unconventional to have a blog in the instagram-era, so I deeply appreciate you for reading, supporting me and making efforts to check-in when you have time. As I turn 37, its dawned on me that the greatest gift of all is that you are in my life. I love you! If you are someone that found my blog but we haven’t met yet — guess what? I love you too.

Psychedelic Trip Report

Prologue

My previous experience with mushrooms had only been in social settings, usually about 1 gram. I’d never blasted off on 5 grams of mushrooms until my trip to Ceremonia last month.

When I first started exploring psychedelic ceremonies (at the beginning of COVID), I loosely had the idea that I wanted to explore a deeper part of my consciousness, to work past energetic blocks, and to scratch an itch of curiosity. But I wondered - are those the right reasons? I asked my friends and advisors “how will I know if I’m ready?” And I was told: “You’ll know when. You’ll feel called.”

And indeed, they were right. It’s ok you don’t know what “feeling called” means and there’s not a way for me to tell you, either. Trust your inner-intelligence because the call isn’t always obvious. In this case, however, it was literal: Austin called me to invite me to Ceremonia towards the end of 2023 while I was realigning some of my parts (in IFS therapy). I immediately accepted the invitation; sometimes the calling is right in your face!

I share this prologue to say that nobody should ever tell you that you should go to a ceremony. You should never feel influenced, pressured or sold. If a psychedelic ceremony is on your mind, do some research and pay attention to the sensations in your body and what emotions are present. Let those sensations and emotions be your compass.

Ceremonia Photo Drop

Clockwise from top left:

A selfie with Chu Chu and Austin, the founders of Ceremonia
The coldest plunge you’ve ever plunged! Followed by the steamiest steamroom you’ve ever steamed (not pictured)
Our integration day nature walk
Catching cozy sunbeams with Kate. I had some major breakthroughs in this pit!

Psychedelic storytelling is a privilege and an obligation

Sharing a psychedelic experience is often a deeply personal act because it can involve revealing deep pain, shame, secrets, and trauma. How I share my experience with individuals depends on how well I know them and how well they know me.

I recorded a podcast with Psychedelic Passage a few weeks ago on this exact topic “How to Come Out About Your Psychedelic Experiences.” Jimmy (the host) and I dove deep into psychedelic storytelling and I firmly believe that the ability share a psychedelic experience requires privilege and safety. Drawing parallels to the gay right movement of the 70’s, I recognize that by sharing my story with others — with purpose and care, is an obligation. In doing so, I create more acceptance and access for people like me and other marginalized identities. If you hold privileged identities, consider that “coming out psychedelic” shifts the narrative of these drugs within your sphere of influence. I almost always use Mareesa’s storytelling framework:

Who you were before / your “old way of being”
Your journey (you don’t necessarily need to go into the play-by-play)
Who you are after your experience / your “new way of being”

From Insecure Champion to Mycelial Dancer

I went into this ceremony with the intention to address the part of me that I can now describe as an “Insecure Champion.” As a child, I noticed my parents showered me with love when I achieved. My teachers and coaches did too. It’s a natural thing to do - to encourage your children to strive. This part of my self is the foundation of my earliest childhood memories. Winning chess tournaments, tennis tournaments, spelling bees, geography bees, business competitions… it all felt so validating. It was empowering. I was a champion. As my life progressed from childhood to adolescence to early adulthood, this part of me became further entrenched in my identity and I had no reason to question it - I was successful.

Now, with years of therapy, coaching and psychedelic ceremony under my belt, I can see how my obsession with achievement continues to hold me back in so many ways. My “insecure champion” part argues that I don’t make enough money, no matter how much I make. He insists that the men I date are not good enough for me. And at the same time, he tells me that my body isn’t attractive enough compared to others. That’s a mind fuck - to be constantly striving and winning but also being told - I am not enough. Even when I win, the dopamine hit only lasts a few hours before I’m hunting for my next achievement. No achievement will ever be enough if I am driven by the insecurity and fear that I am not worthy of love.

In ceremony, I started with 3 grams of Golden Teacher mushrooms. As they took hold of my physical body, I felt a constriction around my core; mild discomfort. Still, a cake walk compared to ayahuasca! As I breathed deeply into the sensation and held tightly onto my lapis bracelet to aid in communication, I spoke to my insecure champion part. I told him that I love him, I’m proud of him, that I appreciate everything he’s done for me, and celebrated him for the decades of protection he has provided. And then, I asked him to step aside for a few hour as I popped 2 grams of Mazatec mushrooms into my mouth. I traded the lapis for my tiger’s eye bracelet for balance/confidence and wondered - if my insecure champion part stepped aside, who might show up? What “part” of Steven, or what vision of my “core” self might present new opportunities or partnerships in my life?

When I trip, I rarely get intense or vivid hallucinations, I mostly get a series of “downloads” or a new sense of knowing. The only pseudo-vivid hallucination I had was a dancer, sort of floating around as if on a trapeze. It didn’t have a lot of detail; I couldn’t make out a face and it was on a backdrop of darkness. I didn’t know what to make of it, and only during integration did I think that the figure could have been me.

With my insecure champion beside me, rather than in my driver seat, I started to hear Chu Chu’s beautiful voice pull me out of my deepest trance. She was singing in Mandarin. I have never heard Mandarin in ceremony before and I immediately thought of mom and dad. I sent them love and gratitude for raising me. I thought of my brother, and sent him love. I thought of Balprit and Dan, and how they are about to start their family, and sent them love. I thought of Dallas and Ryan… I thought of Cadie, Lisa, Jeff… Deb. Alex! Shelly! Mateo! James! I spent a few hours thinking about all of the people that I love in my life. I was overflowing with love. I can say with conviction that I am a loving person. I cherish my mycelial network of friends, family and lovers. The kind of person I am is one that forms deep friendships, loves adventures, and makes bold decisions in my life.

The last 2-3 hours of the trip were incredibly joyful. I was laughing, enjoying the beautiful medicine music, dancing — although losing my balance at times, which only stirred more glee. Damn, I was so high! I was making up my own jokes and then laughing at them; and then laughing at how I was laughing at my own jokes. I was farting a lot, and laughing at my farts. It was so silly, and at one point as the peak of the trip had passed - I thought, ok let me get focused again and see if I can extract some more insights before this ends. Only to realize that it was my insecure champion trying to optimize myself again! The only thing for me to do was laugh and embody the joy and love that is “core” Steven. I’ve worked hard throughout my entire life — this moment was just for me.

Epilogue (Integration)

Integration has been smooth. I’ve had regular check-ins with my ceremony group and coincidentally MAPS released our comprehensive Integration Station resource. (Please check it out before you use psychedelics for growth!)

During the past 2 weeks, science shows that new neural connections are being forged. I have noticed behaviors of my old way of being, my insecure champion, trying to multi-task and juggle multiple priorities at once. When that comes to my awareness, I note that I don’t need to be busy to be successful. I prefer to be in flow doing one thing at a time. I am a mycelial dancer.

I have been putting a lot of focus on my core values. I value vulnerability so that I feel understood. I value friendship so that I feel joy and included. I value my health — even if I’m seeing new gray hairs and fine lines come in - I feel powerful and beautiful with what my body can do. And I really, really value authenticity, so that I can live life on my own terms, free from societal expectations, which makes me feel light, unencumbered and in flow.

Thank you for reading my Psychedelic Trip Report. It means a lot to me. If you feel called to send me a message or ask a question… substack has a dm feature now:

Catch me IRL in Vegas (11-14th), D.C. (21-25th) and Denver (25-29th)

Vegas

This is the 3rd consecutive year I’ve been asked to present on psychedelics at the Transform Conference in Las Vegas. If you want to come last minute, I have a discount code that reduces the ticket price to $1,600. I know, it sounds like a lot… but the closing ceremony is a Flo Rida concert so... worth ittt!

Leading up to my presentation at Transform, I recorded a podcast with Culture Craig to talk about my brand of joyful activism and how I blend DEI and psychedelics. I love the first few minutes of this podcast where Craig takes me on a trip down memory lane and shares some core memories of when we met many years ago! Yes, you can mix HR, performance reviews, and LSD. Check it:

D.C.

I’ll be presenting at the 47th annual Psychotherapy Networker Symposium on “Psychedelics for the Culture: The Potential Healing for Intergenerational and Racial Trauma.” This is a new conference for me, I’m super grateful to be invited by Deran, from Black Therapists Rock. She’s been on the ground healing intergenerational and racial trauma for a long time - it’s incredible to see her passion being translated into real solutions.

When I left the DEI industrial complex, I was most excited to spend time with therapists, healers, scientists, policy makers and activists behind this movement. I’m moving from outsider to insider; I’m going to network the shit out of this conference!

Leading up to this conference, I recorded a podcast with CLYDE, talking about access (the lack thereof) and hurdles within our current healthcare system. This podcast is more buttoned up given the public affairs audience, but I do drop a lot of hard truths:

And of course, any trip to D.C. means I get to spend some quality time with Ken and Andrew! I can’t wait to give you big hugs and take you to an 18+ night at Echostage woooo! Steve J - can we squeeze in a Barry’s? Emily - we’re going to check out the cherry blossoms, right?

Denver

From D.C., I’ll be heading back to Denver for the MAPS Staff Retreat! I absolutely adore my team and I’m excited to spend some quality time. The retreat was something I really advocated for and was on the planning committee; so I made sure to incorporate trips to some of my fav spots, like Invisible City Clubhouse!

Photo Drop